Responsibly Brave: How to Adventure Solo with Your Kids

“You can’t do that.”

Adventure is in my heart and soul. It’s deeply a part of who I am, and who I have always been. Having children didn’t change that. But it did change what I heard.

You can’t take them hiking. You can’t take them on adventures. It’s not safe to do it yourself. You’re being irresponsible. You’ll get hurt. They will get hurt. Something will happen. And on, and on, and on.

The media and the world makes us believe those fears. That as mothers we have to wrap our children in bubble wrap and sequester them away from adventure in safe rooms. That our lives are no longer our own and we must drop parts of who we are in order to be the best caregivers. Friends, I want to tell you that huge parts of those messages are just not true.

Let me tell you how I learned to walk alongside those fears and adventure onward anyway. I call it being responsibly brave.

Starting Big (Before I Knew What I Was Doing)

My second child was born just after we moved nearly fourteen hours away from any family. We had made a choice for our family that I would stay home with our children — which over time led to homeschooling. That life gave me time and flexibility, but it also meant that waiting for my husband’s vacation days to drive fourteen hours to visit family felt like a waste of something precious.

So when my daughter was about six months old, I decided to give it a try. My son was three and already a seasoned little traveler. I resolved to take three days to do the fourteen-hour drive if I needed to. Our van was stocked with endless snacks, picture books, toys, and a row of pacifiers lined up on the dash — because my daughter was very good at throwing them.

Little Victories Build to Something Epic

It wasn’t easy, nor was it pretty. But we did it.

That first trip opened not only my eyes but my heart to the possibility that maybe, just maybe, we were meant for more. This motherhood journey didn’t mean an end to the adventures I craved in my soul. The trips to visit family became a regular thing. I started carving the drive down to two days, then adding fun stops along the way. We took day trips — just my kids and me. Museums, state parks, nearby cities. Stretching and strengthening myself a little more each time.

And then came the trip that changed everything: three weeks with my children, roaming out west in our DIY minivan camper. We danced our way across the desert under the glow of endless starry skies. It was difficult and exhausting, but also epic and exhilarating.

What It Means to Be Responsibly Brave

Soon the whisperings of “you can’t” became proclamations of “you are so brave!” But here’s the thing: I don’t consider it blind bravery. I call it being responsibly brave.

The idea is that you’re walking alongside your fears, equipped with knowledge about what you’re walking into, what dangers you may encounter, and escape routes if needed. Responsibly brave means being a strong and adventurous person, but not walking blindly. It means being a good steward of the world around you and leaving places better than you found them.

It’s a mindset, it’s a habit, it’s a way of life; a way to life. And it’s built step by step with three things: knowledge, practice, and patience.

Knowledge

Anxiety gripped me every time I left the house. So I fought it: with books. Books that inspired me to keep going: stories of brave and strong women, stories of adventurous families, stories on the importance of time spent outside. Some kept my “why” at the forefront of my thoughts. Some were about diligence in pursuing a path. All of them reminded me I wasn’t alone.

Practice

Practice came by starting small and building from there. We started with a hiking excursion to a local park fifteen minutes away. Then thirty minutes. Then an hour. Each time stretching my children and myself a little further.

Some of those trips were a disaster, of the “everyone is looking at me and my screaming kids” variety. A few were a complete success, with minimal tears, no injuries, and everyone home in somewhat clean clothes with nothing missing. Over time I learned what gear was essential, what could be left behind, and how to keep a calm head when things veered off course: grumpy kids, weather changes, closed museums, car trouble, or that uncomfortable interaction in the woods.

Patience

Patience is the essential ingredient. You’re not going to smash that fear wall in one punch. Unless you’re the Hulk, and some of you may have that emotional strength. I did not. Anxiety kept showing up, bolstered by my fears. It made me angry, but that anger didn’t help, patience did.

Patience with myself as I grew stronger. Patience with my kids as they did the same. Just like driving across Texas, this journey takes time. So buckle up, put on your playlist, and get ready to wait it out, because good things are coming.

Start Here: Make Your List

Friends, will you join me? Begin by making a list. It can be the fears that grip you, the things you want to do, a bucket list, a travel wishlist, whatever it wants to be. Just begin by writing out what’s on your heart. That list can be the beginning of your adventure journal, and the beginning of something wonderful.

Take your time. Do your research. Dive into your adventures, whatever they may be. Wishing you all the courage to be responsibly brave.

And to my husband: the biggest supporter of my crazy schemes, from building our minivan camper to trusting me to travel across the country with our sweet children. Our life is what it is because of you.

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Share your adventures with me using the hashtag #responsiblybrave. I’ll share your stories with the world.

Friends, let’s redefine motherhood, one shenanigan at a time.